Memorial Website, Online Memorials, Virtual Memorials by RiverofMemories.com: The Trend Toward Home Funerals

The Trend Toward Home Funerals
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RiverMan on 09 March, 2009 06:26:00
 
Home funerals are not a new phenomenon.  Throughout history, families have cared
for and buried their own dead.  Our modern funeral industry often discourages
families from caring for their deceased loved ones, but in all but five states
(Connecticut, Indiana, Nebraska, Delaware and New York) it is legal to do so. 
Contact your local public health office for information regarding regulations in
your state.
Having a home funeral allows the family and friends to take an active part in
celebrating the life of the deceased loved one and create a more profound and
private event.  Supporters of home funerals consider them a more humane and
healing alternative which allows the family an extended amount of time for
viewing, ceremony and closure instead of having the body whisked away to a
mortician, embalmed, and stored in a refrigerator until the viewing and
disposition.  A member of the family or appointed agent can act as funeral
director, making decisions about the funeral arrangements, filling out and
filing end-of-life documentation, and writing an obituary notice.
Under normal circumstances, keeping the body at home poses no health risks. 
Embalming is not required by law, except in certain cases, and does not preserve
the body forever but merely delays the inevitable consequences of death. 
Funeral directors will encourage embalming and cosmetic restoration to preserve
the color and appearance of the body, to create a “beautiful memory picture”
and to show “proper respect for the body.”   Requiring the use of toxic
chemicals, many consider it an unnecessary invasive procedure.  Embalming is
commonly practiced only in the U.S. and Canada, and many religions consider it a
desecration of the body.
For a home funeral, you may place ice or dry ice under the body to aid in
preservation.  The loved one may be washed and dressed in clothing that reflects
their own personality, and viewed in a place of honor.  A home funeral can be an
occasion for family members and friends to gather to celebrate the life of the
deceased and share memories, stories, food, and consolation in a comfortable,
familiar environment that reflects their culture and beliefs instead of an
impersonal, institutionalized setting.  It is an opportunity for children to
learn that death is a natural part of the life cycle, and for family members to
make transitions from wife to widow, from oldest son to “man of the house,”
and other significant life changes.
The family may wish to create a wooden casket for burial, or a cardboard
cremation casket.  The casket may be decorated in manner that reflects the loved
one’s personal taste and lifestyle.  Preparing the casket may be a creative
outlet for the expression of grief and loss.  Terminal patients may find comfort
and solace in helping to prepare the casket, and helping to make decisions about
other arrangements, before their impending death.
A home funeral is more economical and environmentally friendly than the standard
mortuary funeral.  The standard funeral costs $5000 to $8000 or more.  You
don’t need to spend a lot of money to honor your dead in meaningful way. 
Emotional, distraught family members are often pressured into choosing the most
expensive casket or extra services by a funeral director who is also a salesman
and business owner concerned about profit.  Few funeral directors will allow a
public viewing of the body without the embalming process.  During the process,
embalmers are required by OSHA to wear respirators and full body coverings to
protect themselves from the highly toxic chemicals, but waste is not regulated
and often flushed into public sewers and drains.
Some families will choose a combination of services, perhaps caring for the body
at home for the viewing period, and then using mortuary services for the
disposition.  Caring for our own dead and being personally involved with the
deceased may allow us to confront our fears and misconceptions about death and
deal with our grief in an emotionally healthy way.