Memorial Website, Online Memorials, Virtual Memorials by RiverofMemories.com: The Second Rung: Understanding the Stages of Grieving

The Second Rung: Understanding the Stages of Grieving
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Jenna Fetherolf on 05 January, 2009 03:22:00
 
These stages have no order of occurrence, nor will any two people experience
these stages in the same way.
Anger may be felt toward yourself or the deceased, toward God, or towards
doctors and relatives. Any anger you feel will most likely change and evolve
over time. Acknowledge any anger you feel and work with it in positive ways to
reach a place of forgiveness and compassion with yourself and others. There are
many ways to work positively with anger. Physical exercise helps to release the
energy of anger. Journaling about the anger you feel can help you to become
clear about its roots. Explaining your feelings to those with whom you are
angry, in calm and rational ways, can be an excellent way to move through anger.
Denial is not being able to accept the realities of your loved ones death. It is
common to feel that they will be calling or coming home at any time. The world
may feel surreal without them in it. It may be very difficult to imagine the
future without them. Denial will lessen over time. Focusing on getting through
one day at a time can be very helpful in the days just following a loved ones
death.
Bargaining can be done with a higher power and with ourselves. Bargaining is
trying to take back the death. We may ask God how this death could be possible
when our loved one was such a good person. We may rehash all of the things that
we or others could have done differently to make this person be alive today. We
may promise many things to God, attempting to bring our loved one back to us.
Working through bargaining is also an act of forgiveness and acceptance. Finding
understanding with a Higher Power is part of the process, as is understanding
and accepting the choices we have made in our lives.
Depression is probably the most recognizable stage in the grieving process.
There is no doubt that the sadness we experience after the death of a loved one
can be extreme. A person who is depressed may experience deep sadness, low
energy, a decreased interest in daily activities, change in appetite, and change
in habits.
Coming out of depression can be difficult because the very things that help us
to do so, such as engaging in exercise and stimulating activity, are sometimes
the hardest things for a depressed person to do. Many small steps taken over
time can have a big influence on recovering from depression. The kind of
depression experienced with grieving is different from clinical depression,
which often requires taking medication. We will look more closely at clinical
depression later in this article.
Acceptance is the experience of knowing that it is alright that the person you
love has died. This is not to say that you are happy about your loss or that is
does not matter. Acceptance is coming to a place where you can find peace with
the reality of your loss.
Feeling acceptance does not necessarily mean that your grieving process is
complete. In the beginning acceptance will often be felt in passing moments.
With time a more lasting state of acceptance and understanding will be reached.