Memorial Website, Online Memorials, Virtual Memorials by RiverofMemories.com: The Sixth Rung: Coping with Grief

The Sixth Rung: Coping with Grief
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Jenna Fetherolf on 05 January, 2009 03:31:00
 
Since no two people will experience grieving the same, we cannot expect people
to cope with grieving in the same ways. One person’s way is not better than
another’s, as long as they are allowing themselves to experience their grief
and they are finding ways to heal.
Taking care of yourself is crucial to coping with your loss. Wholesome, natural
foods will help your body to feel better and in turn help you to function
better. Herbal teas and homeopathic remedies found at natural foods stores can
gently help people who are unable to sleep. Exercising is known to increase
endorphins, reduce stress, and help people to sleep well. If you crave strenuous
exercise and you have your doctor’s approval, go for it, but exercise need not
be strenuous to be beneficial. Walking, gardening, raking leaves, and shoveling
snow are all great forms of exercise. Get fresh air, get a change of scenery, do
things that you know make you feel good. A common experience during grieving is
to feel guilty about feeling good or enjoying ourselves. If this is how you are
feeling please consider that your loved one most certainly wants you to feel
good and to take good care of yourself.
Grief can be overwhelming and extremely difficult and many people are tempted to
run from experiencing it. Different cultures also have differing ways of
grieving that are considered acceptable. In some societies it is totally
acceptable for grieving people to publicly express their grief. In western
societies people are generally more uncomfortable with public displays of
grieving and their people are expected to return to normal functioning in
society quickly after the death of a loved one. If we choose to not fully
acknowledge our grief we may trick ourselves into thinking that we have gotten
rid of it. This is not true. Ignoring grief pushes it into the recesses of our
being where it may later turn up as illness, chronic depression, or an inability
to function well in our lives.
Once you have acknowledged your feelings the next step is to express them. It is
important to do what works for you. If you feel like crying, go to a safe place
and cry until you are done crying. If you are feeling anger, go to your room and
beat up the mattress or a pillow. Go somewhere safe and scream. Emotions that
are not expressed implode. If you find release in writing, than write about what
you are experiencing. Pray, dance, sing, or make music; it doesn’t so much
matter what you do as long as you are moving these immense emotions out of your
body.
Honoring your loved one is important because it helps you to know that they are
still a part of your life and that you can still care for them in some ways.
There are so many ways to honor you loved one. If you dread having an empty seat
at the table where your loved one once sat, you could try lighting a candle or
placing fresh flowers at their seat Memorials are available in many public
places and you can also build a private memorial. Donating money or volunteering
to a cause that was important to your loved one can be an excellent way to honor
their life. By planting a tree or garden in their honor you will create a sacred
place that you associate with them. The actions taken to honor your loved one
can be small or large. Give your creativity freedom here and create things that
are meaningful to both you and them.