10 Steps To Writing An Unique Obituary

Writing An Unique Obituary

The task of writing an obituary comes at a time of loss but is part of the celebration of a life. An obituary is one of the final tributes on this earth to an individual. It is a tangible expression of love and appreciation. You may wonder - How do I write an obituary? To write an obituary is to honor a person. Writing an obituary is not a daunting task. It simply requires accuracy and sincerity. The steps to organizing an obituary will fall in place once you realize that your loved one is its center. Some tips from experienced writers can guide you to the creation and publication of a fitting tribute for your loved one.

1)The Author

The author of an obituary is usually a family member or very close friend. The author then is extremely familiar with the individual. Those closest to the deceased are the most qualified to write an obituary for their loved one.

Some funeral directors, however, include an obituary as part of their services. If you are writing an obituary as a funeral director, then you will need to have close consultation with the family or others with close ties. Learn about their loved one.

Don't just ask for the basic biographical information about the person. Ask the family about what they want to include in the obituary. Families are trying to deal with their loss at this time. They may not volunteer information unless you remind them.

A funeral director needs to prepare an obituary which focuses clearly on the life of the deceased. You need considerable input from the family to create an exceptional obituary.

You need to explore the topic with the person or group who is taking responsibility for the funeral arrangements. Those responsible should consult with the others who were closest to the individual. As a funeral director, however, you must follow the wishes of those responsible for arranging the service. You must also see that the obituary gets to publication without any errors or mishaps.

2)The Publication

Where do you want to publish this obituary? If the funeral home is responsible for the obituary, they may just use certain newspapers for submissions. You need to check to see if those choices match with your wishes.

If you are submitting the obituary for publication, then you can select your preferred choice to publish this special tribute. You may want to place the obituary within the favorite newspaper of your loved one. You may decide to publish the obituary in a specialized newspaper appropriate to your loved one's work or interests. You may decide on a publication in a home town. You can lovingly arrange for the obituary to be shown in more than one publication. The internet offers you new possibilities to share your obituary. Create a memorial website including an obituary. Start here riverofmemories.com

3)Newspaper Policies And Rates

You need to familiarize yourself with your publications of choice. Most newspapers now offer online editions. You can most likely browse through the newspapers in the comfort of your own home.

You need to be aware of the newspaper's specific guidelines for accepting obituaries. Newspapers will often tweak submissions which don't meet their specifications. You do not want inaccurate or missing information in your obituary. You want your obituary to be an unique tribute. You also, however, want it to look appropriate in the publication.

You have to be certain that you submit all the required information before deadlines. Be aware of newspaper deadlines. You need to be clear about your chosen days for publication. You also need to be certain that you understand the daily rate and the involved calculations. Newspapers generally charge per column inch. The average person may require some explanation about how many words will fit within a column inch. You also need to inquire about any rules about column length.

4)The Chat

Funeral directors who offer obituaries within their range of services must consult with the loved ones of the deceased. Such meetings will ensure the most fitting tribute. If you are responsible for an obituary, then you also need to do some consultation. Grief is an intensely personal emotion. We do share it though with others who also loved an individual. Two hearts are always better than one - and more hearts are even better. Connect with family and others to get their thoughts on the ultimate obituary for your loved one. The best scenario would be if your loved one had ever made some reference to their final tribute. The obituary should focus on the individual - their life and their wishes.(if known to the family) You may never want to write your own obituary. Grieving families though can surely benefit from insight in this area.

5)The Basics

Once you have gathered the thoughts together, then you can begin to write the obituary. An obituary should always begin with the person's name. The focus of the obituary should be on the individual. It is more appropriate then to begin with the name as compared to "the family of the late..." It is also best to let the individual have their distinct identity. Refer to Lucy as "Lucy" not "Mom."  She was surely proud to be your Mom. The obituary, however, is about her life. Her life was also about being a child, being a bride, being an nurse, being a volunteer. The obituary should be all about Lucy, the one, the only Lucy.

The top priority for the basic information is accuracy of details. The basic information should include:

Full name of the deceased, including nickname, if any

Age at death

Residence

Day and date of death

Place of death

Residence and place of death can be the same. They are, however, often different as many deaths occur in hospitals.

Cause of death is an optional category. It is most often not included in obituaries. Cause of death is included more often in cases of accidents or other sudden deaths. Some families do choose to include the cause of death. Families who want to draw attention to certain diseases will often post the cause of death. If a loved one has suffered from a disease for a long time or even from birth, families may wish to recognize their valiant struggle. If you do state the cause of death, try unique phrasing. The average obit always uses the same terms such as - after a courageous battle, passed peacefully away, etc. You don't want to write an average obituary.

6)Stages Of Life

When you take on the task of documenting someone's life, then correct and totally accurate information is of utmost priority.  Even loved ones can find this category to be a challenge. You accurately recorded the basics but you will need to take extra care with this step.

The section on the different stages of life should include:

Date of birth

Place of birth

Names of parents

Childhood: siblings

Education: school, college, university

Marriage(s): date of, place, name of spouse

Employment: jobs, promotions, colleagues, union activities

Are you certain that you are presenting accurate details in this section? Sometimes adults forget the names of their parent's school. Maybe his father told him the name of that first employer but the teenager just wasn't listening to Dad.  Maybe she just never asked her husband about the name of his high school. Sometimes people are close to those whom they have only known for a short time. Maybe a loved one never talked much about their past. Sometimes missing records are an issue. If you are unsure of a detail then it is better to omit it than to give inaccurate information.

People sometimes change both spouses and jobs over the years. Sometimes the splits are very amicable and sometimes there are unresolved issues. If you encounter any such uncomfortable issues, then you need to try to remember what your loved one would want in this situation. Your close relationship with your loved one may help you draw on some clues. Maybe there really is a need in our society for talking to our loved ones about our wishes for our final tribute.

7)Personal Stories

A personal story is a key piece of an outstanding obituary. The personal touches truly honor the real person. Personal stories bring back memories of loved ones. If someone at the service didn't know the person well, then they gain a better understanding of them. Even people who had known the individual in life can learn about a totally different side to their personality. The personal stories give new life to the person in renewed memories. The stories don't have to be humorous or even entirely happy ones. You can include stories of helping others, overcoming struggles, etc. They can be about the person's bad game or bad singing voice. They just must focus on the essence of the person. They can never have demeaning or negative tones. Our society sees lots of negativity. A celebration of someone's life should only be filled with love and peace.

8)Family

Once again, be accurate! It may seem silly to remind one of accuracy when listing one's family. But are you certain that you know the name of your nephew's baby? Are you sure that you know the name of your niece's second husband? Extended family likes to be listed in obituaries. You can go as far down the family line as you choose for inclusion. Just be certain that if you include one niece then you include the other niece. The family section always includes the first name of spouses and significant others.

You can follow this guideline as far as you wish down the list.

Survived by (and place of residence)

Spouse

Children (in order of date of birth, and their spouses)

Grandchildren

Great-grandchildren

Great-great-grandchildren

Parents

Grandparents

Siblings (in order of date of birth)

Others, such as nephews, nieces, cousins, in-laws

Friends

Pets (if appropriate)

You can also include a "predeceased" category. You generally include the date of death for those names.  You can limit predeceased to very immediate family members.

You can use this guide for to include those who have passed on in previous years.

Predeceased by (and date of death)

Spouse

Children (in order of date of birth)

Grandchildren

Siblings (in order of date of birth)

Others, such as nephews, nieces, cousins, in-laws

9)Memorial Service

The details of the memorial service must be included in the obituary. You want everyone close to your loved one to be present at this service. It is very important that you present this information in a clear manner.

Those who cared for your loved one will need the following information about the memorial service.

Name of funeral home in charge of arrangements

Visitation information if applicable: day, date, time, place

Day, date, time, place of memorial service

Other memorial or graveside services if applicable: day, date, time, place

Place of interment

Contact number for more information

10)Final Thoughts

The final thoughts of an obituary can take different forms. The ending, however, should always be special and personal. You can end with a beloved quotation. You can also add a few words which best sum up your loved one. You can thank special people. You can reference a foundation or a cause in memory of your loved one. You should, however, try to find something unique and special to end this touching tribute.  A short quotation or any brief statement works well because it puts a strong focus directly on your loved one.

Your obituary is now in the final stage. Thorough proof reading is a must before you submit the obituary to publication. You also need to check on the obituary when it appears in print. Errors or omissions can cause embarassment and even hurt feelings. Keep, preserve, and treasure this unique obituary. It is a celebration of a wonderful life!

How do you write an obituary? You write an obituary with love in your heart. That is the most fitting tribute for your loved one!